Legacy
by Willow Fireheart
Summary: Who would have thought Wash and Zoe's child would be such a troublemaker?
1. Chapter 1

**Legacy **

Spoilers- Up to Objects In Space and the movie. So, you know, all of them.  
Disclaimer- Don't belong to me, yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill.  
Note- I know that there a few dominant ideas to come from the movie, I just hope that this is a bit of a twist.  
Note2- River probably sounds a bit saner here, but I figure that after the whole Reaver, etc deal she's found some way of dealing. The brain is an incredible thing ya know.

Translations:_  
hun dan- _jerk_  
hwoon dahn_- son of a bitch_  
Zao gao_- damn it_  
Dong ma?_- understand?_  
Dang ran-_ of course  
xxx

"I thought I done told you not to show your face in these parts again, Wildclaw."

"You ain't got the power to stop me, Sheriff Threehorn."

"Is that a challenge, you yellow-bellied snake?"

"You man enough to take it, _hun dan_?"

"Hoban Washburne Junior, you better not be annoying River."

Hoban jumped, scattering the plastic trees and dinosaurs that took pride of place on the control panel in front of the pilot's chair, and turned to face his mother. She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips and an eyebrow arched at him.

"Aw, Ma! We was just playin'!" He held up the plastic T-rex to show her. "River don't mind none."

River grinned at Zoë. "Practice. For Simon and Kaylee."

Zoë smiled. "Okay, but remember what we agreed? No flying till you're 14. And no trying to convince River to let you have a turn. Remember what the Captain said."

Hoban sighed. "I never get to have any fun."

"That's what I'm here for, Sweetie. You two seen the Captain? We have to get the stuff ready for Boros."

Hoban shrugged. "Last I saw he was with Inara."

River shrugged. "Won't land on Boros till tomorrow. Is it important?"

Zoë shrugged. "Suppose not. Just rather get it done is all." Zoë paused on her way out. "Half an hour before bedtime, Hoban."

"Ma!"

"No arguments."

Hoban turned to River, his pout turning into a grin as Zoë left the bridge.

River wagged a finger in front of his nose. "Mother said no."

Hoban pouted. "Man, no one lets me have any fun around here."

xxxxx

The sound of Zoë's happy laughter bounced off the dinning room walls.

"Wash! When are you gonna put that thing down?"

"Not yet. I just wanna get a couple a pictures. A day like this has to be remembered." The sheer happiness and laughter could not be contained in his voice. "My warrior woman has finally made an honest man outta me."

Sitting at the table Zoë wiped a tear away as it fell. The capture continued to play.

"Well then, husband, are you gonna get yourself in this picture?"

The picture shook as Wash moved around, coming to loop an arm around Zoë's shoulders. They both smiled for the capture and Zoë leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Good day," He commented. "Should be a holiday or something."

Capture Zoë laughed. The capture stopped, reverting to the original photo of Zoë, caught mid laughter at the antics of her newly wed husband.

"Ma?"

Zoë wiped her eyes and turned to face her son. "Hey, baby. What are you doing up?"

Hoban shrugged. "Had a bad dream."

Zoë placed the capture on the table and held out her arms for him. Normally he would have sighed and made a fuss before readily embracing his mother but now he went eagerly, drinking in her warmth and comfort as she stroked his hair and back.

Six months ago some _hwoon dahn _had kidnapped Hoban, thinking the nine-year-old boy to be an easy target and the perfect way to get revenge on the people that spoiled his nice little slaving project. What he hadn't counted on was a furious mother who had been in the war, the man hadn't counted on the gun strapped to Zoë being more than ornamental, and boy howdy had he regretted that lack of knowledge. Jayne bursting the door down, Vera in hand, and the rest of the crew trailing out from behind him hadn't helped the man's cause none either.

"Whatcha watching?"

"A capture. Of the day your daddy and me got married."

Hoban looked up at her, his big eyes the exact replica of his father's. "Can I see?"

"Sure, baby." She pulled him into her lap, resting her chin on his shoulder. "You're gonna be too big for this soon. Then what am I going to do? My little boy's growing up."

"Aw, ma!" Hoban wiggled in her lap uncomfortably.

Zoë laughed. "Okay, okay."

She picked up the capture. The movement started it and once again the room was filled with the sound of Zoë's laughter.

xxxxx

Mal stormed into the dining room. His expression fierce enough to scare those who hadn't known him and fought aside him for years.

"Hey, Cap'n."

Mal turned to face Kaylee, who had settled herself into one of the plush chairs. Sitting, her bump was much more noticeable, even with the coveralls she still insisted on wearing.

Almost instantly, Mal's expression changed became softer and a smile spread over his face. "Kaylee, what are you doin' here? I thought the doc was gonna do a full systems scan or somethin'."

Kaylee gave him a look. "I already had my physical. Baby's doin' just fine."

"That's good to hear." Mal settled into a chair next to her. "So, are we gonna have another mechanic pattering round here or another doctor?"

Kaylee grinned happily. "I don't know. I kinda like the idea of being surprised. And Simon don't know neither so don't you go buggin' him."

Mal leaned back in his chair and laughed lightly. "Damn, foiled again."

"When are you and 'Nara gonna have kids, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked Mal, running her hands over her slightly rounded stomach.

Mal's smiled turned cynical. "When that special hell Shepherd Book always spoke of freezes right on over."

Kaylee pouted. "You really don't want kids? I think they're cute."

"Sure, cute as a button 'til they learn to cuss and fiddle with Serenity's controls, and just plain be smart alecky." Mal scowled.

Kaylee smiled. "Hobie again?"

"Still'd be more like."

Kaylee's smile turned into a grin. "There you go then, Cap'n. Lotsa practice."

Mal eyed her stomach. "I think we got plenty of babies around here already."

"Aw, c'mon, Cap'n. One more won't hurt." Kaylee bit her bottom lip, trying to hold back her smile. "Hey, Jayne." She gave the man a little wave as he entered the room.

He grunted back.

"That's what they all say." Mal pushed himself to his feet; warily eyeing the arsenal Jayne had bought with him. "Well, this boy ain't gonna find himself."

"Go easy on him, Mal. He's just a kid."

Mal ran his thumbs under his braces. "Hey, you know me. I'm as sweet as pie."

Jayne chuckled. "Pie filled with lemon curd."

Mal scowled. "Mind yourself Jayne."

xxxxx

Mal peered down into Zoë's bunk.

"You lookin' for me, sir?"

Mal jumped as the words were spoken into his ear. He whirled around and cleared his throat. "No, actually. You seen that son o' yours, Zoë?"

Zoë sighed. "What's he done now, sir?"

"Well, seems he likes the autopilot feature on Serenity. Programmed it to take us in a nice slow circle. Made us all kinds of late for the drop off. Badger is not going to be happy."

"And you can't just revert back to manual? Reprogram it?"

"That'd be nice, wouldn't it," Mal drawled. "No, Junior's gone and rigged her up with a doozy of an encryption. 'Less he shuts it off himself, we're gonna continue the orbit we're stuck in."

"Orbit of what, sir?"

"Lots and lots of nothin'. Kid's got us doin' loops of empty space. And River won't do a damn thing to fix it. Just keeps tellin' me that I shouda let her give him flyin' lessons." Mal scowled.

Zoë could no longer hold it in. Peals of laughter burst from her throat and filled the halls.

Mal sighed. "See, I knew you'd find this funny. Me, on the other hand, I'm a tad concerned. Bad enough that River can out-pilot me, now I got a ten-year-old who knows more bout my ship than me. Startin' to think Serenity don't like me no more…"

xxxxx

Quietly, Mal walked along the steel platforms in the cargo bay. Whatever Zoë said bout him during the war, he knew what stealth was and knew enough to use it on the right occasion.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a flash of sandy brown hair.

"I know you're in here, Junior. May as well come out now and save me from havin' to search for ya." Mal crossed his arms. "Makin' me wait would be a bad idea."

Hoban stepped out from behind a stack of crates. "_Zao gao_," he muttered. "You won't hurt me." Hoban raised his head defiantly. "My mother would hurt you. She's not scared of you like Jayne is."

"No, she ain't," Mal agreed. "And no I wouldn't hurt you. But I am the captain on this here boat and like it or not you will listen to me just like everyone else does."

"Everyone just lets you think they listen to you."

Mal paused, clearly flummoxed. "You do that then, Junior. Least it'd be doin' somethin' resemblin' what I ask ya. But," he rallied himself, "you fix that auto pilot. We got all these crates waitin' to be dropped off to Badger and I'm feelin' 'em like a lead weight around my neck. Now, you go on up and get everything straightened up and I'll think about shortenin' them age restrictions on the flyin' lessons. _Dong ma_?"

Hoban sighed deeply. "_Dang ran_."

Mal watched as Hoban stomped up the steps in those heavy boots that the crew seemed to favour. Didn't seem like that long ago that Mal was tuckin' him in at night with some story or another, watchin' over him when Zoë was sick or injured.

Every time Hoban would look up at him, his eyes so big and sincere in that little face. "Mal, was my pa a hero?"

Mal would sit on the edge of his bed and give him a weary smile. "In every way a hero could be, Junior." He'd catch the grimace on Hoban's face. "I know you don't like me callin' ya that, but I only say it 'cause you're a junior Wash."

Hoban would play with his bedclothes. "Yeah, I have his name."

Mal would pat him on the knee. "It's more than just in name, Junior, more than just his name."

And, gorrammit if he wasn't right. Some of the things he said, damned if Mal didn't turn around to snap at Wash not realizing that ten years had passed and Wash was long gone and buried.

Mal cleared his throat, catching Hoban's attention. "Way I see it, you're the spittin' image of your pa. Right down to the rollin' of your eyes that you think I can't see. Your daddy was a fine pilot, a great man and a greater friend. You, Junior, you're family. So abide my words and get your chores finished up. Best not have me gettin' all crotchety." Mal warned, playfully.

A small smile played on Hoban's lips. "You're always crotchety."

"I am not!"

"Are too… and my momma can kick your ass."

"Not that your wrong, but who taught you to say 'ass'? Actually don't answer that. Jayne!"

xxxxx

Simon looked up from his tray of freshly sanitized instruments as Hoban walked into the infirmary. "So, are we back on course?"

Hoban put his hands in his pockets and kicked the floor, scowling fiercely. "Yes." He looked up at Simon and started to stare at him.

Simon shifted uncomfortably. "So…"

An instrument on the tray in front of Simon glistened, catching Hoban's attention. Hoban picked up an instrument and started to look at it. He moved it around under the light, studying its dimensions and the way it shined.

"What's this do?"

"That's a-" Simon paused. "Why are you here?"

"I live here." He looked up at Simon with an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"Yes, well so does everybody else but they don't barge in and play with my instruments."

"Jayne does."

Simon grimaced. "Yes, and the last time he did he almost lost a finger." Gorram man-ape-gone-thing nearly broke his scanner too, he just wouldn't learn.

Hoban shrugged. "So, what does this do?"

"That sews boys mouths shut when they annoy people," Simon explained, thoroughly becoming sick of answering the boy's questions, and feeling not just a bit sadistic.

Hoban's eyes lit up. "Shiny! Show me!"

"You want your mouth sewn shut?"

Hoban considered this for a second before his face lit up again. "Well, guess not... we can get Jayne. Ain't no one on this boat'd have a problem with it. 'Sides I know you'd enjoy it." He smiled charmingly at the doctor.

Simon's eyes widened, that was a far too tempting offer. "I was joking! It's for..."

"For what?" Hoban was quickly becoming impatient.

"For females... when they're pregnant."

Hoban screwed up his nose and quickly dropped it. "Eww!" He wiped his hands on his pants. "Gorrammit! Gross. Girl cooties!"

Simon grinned at the expression of disgust on Hobie's face. "Give it a few years. You won't mind."

"Why?" His face was still screwed up in disgust, but his thirst for knowledge and genuine puzzlement won over.

Simon looked flustered. He hadn't expected to be the one giving this talk. "Well, upon the beginning of puberty the male-"

Hoban rolled his eyes. "Never mind. I'll ask Jayne."

xxxxx

Hoban strolled into the dining room and flopped into one the seats around the table. Jayne's guns were spread out over the table, and slowly, methodically, Jayne dissembled, cleaned, oiled and reassembled each one. Jayne barely twitched as Hoban sighed.

"Jayne, you like girls right?"

"For certain things, why?"

"I wanna know about 'em."

Jayne looked over at him and smirked. "Ain't nothin' I can tell ya that wouldn't get me killed by your ma."

Hoban grunted in frustration. "Gotta be somethin'."

Jayne furrowed his brow as he ran a cloth over a small pistol. "Ok.. lemme see... never kiss 'em on the mouth."

Hoban watched as Jayne reassembled a gun with quick, précise, and practiced movements and reached for his knife. "What else?"

Jayne scratched his chin with his knife. "Well, there's a certain time of the month you want to avoid 'em all together, less you want somethin' thrown at ya."

"Why?"

Jayne shrugged. "Dunno, they go crazy. I finds it best to leave 'em in peace."

Hoban's hand slowly moved towards the guns. "What else?"

"Watch out for the really purdy ones like your Mom and Inara. Women like them-"

"Jayne, what in the good grace of Buddha, do you think you're doing?" Inara stood in the doorway, every inch of her radiating her anger.

Hoban quickly pulled his hand away from the table and smiled up at her. "Jayne was teachin' me bout women."

Jayne scowled. "See and there's somethin' else about women. You don't never tell 'em the truth!"

Inara sneered at him. "Jayne, you should never show them your face."

Jayne leered at her. "Ain't my face they interested in anyways."

"Well, small things amuse small minds, I guess."

Jayne pouted. "Ain't no call to be like, Inara."

"He's a kid, Jayne!"

In the fighting, neither Inara or Jayne noticed as the subject of their argument snuck out of the room, his shirt somewhat more lumpier than usual.

"So? He oughta be learnin' 'bout women!"

Inara threw up her hands. "He's ten!"

"So was I when I first learned about 'em."

"And look how you turned out!"

Jayne glared at Inara. "I turned out just fine," he said defensively.

"When can I get sexed up already?" she asked him mockingly, bringing up another source of their arguments, one that had been going on for near ten years.

"They was whores, 'Nara. It's their job, what they do, sides I fought for 'em didn't I?"

"You don't know people, Jayne You don't see people as people."

"I see all people as people, I just like the ones with the right curves."

Mal entered the dining room, his brow furrowed. "I hear you two clear out to the bridge. What's the matter?"

"Jayne was so graciously teaching Hobbie about women." Inara gave Jayne a triumphant smirk.

Mal raised an eyebrow. "Well, now. Ain't that interesting. Thought Zoë warned you bout you filling that boy's head with your thoughts."

"The kid likes me." Jayne stated proudly.

"He likes Vera, Jayne. Speaking of..." Mal looked at Jayne's arsenal, failing to locate the aforementioned gun.

Jayne looked around the table where his guns were spread out for cleaning. "Hey, where is she?"

Mal scowled. "Gorram kid! Now I'm crotchety!"

xxxxx

Zoë smiled as she watched her son ran through Serenity, Mal and Jayne in close pursuit, his bursts of laughter warming her heart. In that dark time after she just lost Wash there had been many a night she cried herself to sleep, believing that she had nothing left of him, that she was well and truly alone for the first time in years. But the months passed and her stomach swelled.

Inara and the doc had kept a close eye on her, making sure they always had fresh foods, or vitamins in case they didn't or Jayne accidentally ate it all. Mal had taken her off an active role in jobs; she was 'public relations', after all a ship with a pregnant woman on board had to be safe. Kaylee and River had kept her company on those long nights when the memories were overwhelming and the babe was kickin'. Even Jayne had been real nice, though he complained mighty bitterly after the birth. Put him offa women for months he claimed, and the broken hand didn't sweeten his disposition much either.

Zoë leaned over the over a railing in the cargo hold, grinning as Hoban evaded Jayne by scampering over a stack of boxes. He looked so much like Wash, there wasn't much of her there except for a cocoa tinge to his skin and the sandy brown of his hair. It wasn't just looks neither, how a person could act so much like another without having ever met 'em…

"Gorramit, little man. You get back here!"

"Jayne! Don't hurt him."

"I ain't gonna hurt him. I'm just gonna wring his neck until he tells me where Vera is."

Hoban laughed. "You need brains to find Vera, Jayne. So you best be gettin' someone else to look for her!"

Jayne growled. "He's mockin' me! Bein' a gorram upstart."

"Hoban Junior, you stop harassing Jayne," Zoë called down with laughter in her voice.

"But it's fun, ma!" Hoban called back up to her with a cheeky grin just like his father's.

"Kid has got a point," Mal smiled.

Zoë sighed. Sometimes, most times, she wished Wash was here. He couldn't be prouder if he raised him himself.

"We did good, husband."

Wash watched his wife watching their son. "Yes, we did." He brushed an incorporeal thumb over her cheek, trying to catch the single tear that fell.

Zoë shivered and rubbed her cheek. Sometimes, at times like this, she could swear that he was still here.

xxx

End


	2. Chapter 2 Drivin' Lessons

**Legacy: Drivin' Lessons **

Spoilers- Series, movie and previous chapter.  
Disclaimer- the only character I can claim is Hoban Junior, the rest belong to Joss and Co.  
Note- I liked Hobie so much, and y'all seemed to as well, that I think this may turn into a series thing. If you have any ideas or requests for a Hobie fic please let me know and I'll see what I can do.  
Summary- Hobie takes driving lessons into his own hands, with the usual result.  
Translations-_  
yu ben de- _stupid, foolish_  
Xion can wang ba dan de biao zi_- ruthless whores of sons of bitches  
xxx

A tremendous scream echoed through Serenity.

"Arrrrrr! How do you turn this thing offfff?"

Mal looked up from his plate. His eyes narrowed. "Where's Hobie?"

xxxxx

Mal stormed into the Doc's quarters that he and Kaylee where now sharing with their daughter, slamming the door open. Kaylee jumped, jolting the little girl in her arms awake. Startled the little girl screwed up her face and let out a wail.

Simon sighed. "Thank you very much, we just got her to sleep."

Mal looked at the red faced three year old and winced, as her screams grew louder. "Sorry. Y'all seen Hobie?"

Kaylee looked up from consoling her daughter, suddenly pale faced. "That scream-?"

"Was him. Can't find the blasted boy anywhere."

"Uh oh." Why did that boy hafta be so predictable?

"Kaylee?" There was a large hint of warning in that tone.

"Cap'n..." Kaylee said in almost a whisper knowing how mad Mal would be. "The way Hobie was talkin' earlier…"

"Kaylee."

"Hobie's learnin' to drive."

"Drive what? We're in the middle o' space and he ain't on the bridge, I was just there and the shuttles-" Of Kaylee's look he knew. "Not the mule... not the mule!" he shouted running for the cargo bay.

xxxxx

Mal and Jayne stood looking over the railings as Hoban struggled to keep the mule steady let alone stop it. Damn kid was lucky he hadn't tried to fly the air vehicle, woulda tore the cargo bay to shreds in minutes. Still, even playin' around on the old ground mule Kaylee was fixin' up, boy had done even damage. He was gonna be a in whole mess o' trouble.

"Gorram kid," Jayne cursed.

Mal sighed. He was gettin' too old for this. "Go down there and help him," Mal told Jayne.

Jayne shook his head. "Wouldn't never get close enough to it."

Mal scratched his head. "Jump on it."

"Using what? My amazin' never before seen superpowers?" Jayne asked incredulously. "You jump on it!"

"I'm the Captain!"

"So?"

"You gotta to do what I tell ya to!" Mal exclaimed.

"Not when you order me to act like some _yu ben de_ superhero. I can't fly, Mal!"

"_Xion can wang ba dan de biao zi_!" Hobie screamed, as somehow he made the mule mount the stairs and start climbin' them.

"I gotta do everything 'round here," Mal complained. He pointed a finger at Jayne. "You're damned lucky Zoë done took River and 'Nara planetside. She'd tan your hide, things you're teachin' that boy."

Mal ignored the protests that immediately came to the mercenary's lips and moved to the head of the stairs. He waited until the mule drew level with him.

Hoban looked at Mal with terrified eyes. "Mal, help!"

Mal scowled as he reached towards the handles of the mule. "What do ya think I'm doin'?"

Mal managed to get one hand around the handle of the mule and squeezed the brake. Immediately the mule stopped, nearly sliding back down the metal stairs and taking the teenage boy with it.

Mal grabbed Hoban by the arm and yanked him off the mule. "Jayne, get over here and grab a hold would ya. Damn thing's slippin'."

xxxxx

Mal paced back and forth, giving Hoban his usual disapproving glare. ""You trashed my cargo bay, cleaned up three cases that were due to be dropped tomorrow. Gonna cost me some fine coin, young man. What you got to say for yourself?"

Hoban looked up at Mal with wide innocent eyes that weren't fooling him for a second. "Jayne told me to."

Mal glared over at the man struggling to pull the mule the rest of the way up onto the platform. "Did he now?"

Jayne's head shot up, nearly losing the mule in the process. "I did not! Well, I mean... he was botherin' me when I was busy. Told him to teach himself."

Mal exhaled heavily, his brow's tightening. "He wanted lessons and you couldn't say no?"

Jayne shrugged. "Wasn't really listenin' Didn't 'xactly know what he wanted lessons for..."

xxxx

Jayne looked up from sharpening his knife and glared as Hobie climbed down into his bunk. "Got me in a spot of trouble today little man."

Hobie shrugged with a wide grin on his face. "So?"

Jayne frowned. "So? I'm on gorram dishes for a week because you trashed the cargo bay."

Hobie smirked. "You let me and I got extra chores for five ruttin' months." He scowled at this.

Even though they were in his bunk Jayne glared and looked around. "Shhh! Keep it down! Who taught you to say ruttin'?"

Hobie shrugged. "You did."

"Well, you gotta stop listenin' to me."

"What if I know I should?"

Jayne thought about this for a moment. "Clear it with Mal first." He shook his head and grumbled to himself. "Can't keep gettin' chores 'cause a fourteen year old can't make his own decisions."

"Ma says I should always ask an adult."

Jayne snorted. "You'd be the only on this boat considers me that."

xxxxx

Kaylee stood in the cargo bay, her coveralls, hands and face stained by grease. She stared up at the platform where the mule sat, left there after Hobie had ridden it up the stairs. Kaylee titled her head as she studied it.

Zoë sidled up beside her. She looked at the mule with a faint grimace. Ever since the boy had turned fourteen he was more of a trouble than ever. Still there was one thing…

"How'd he get it up the stairs?"

Kaylee grinned and shook her head. "You do not want to know."

xxx

End.


	3. Chapter 3 Fightin' Words

**Legacy: Fightin' Words**

Spoilers- see previous chapters  
Disclaimer- hey, guess what? They still don't belong to me and I'm still not making any money from this.  
Summary- Hobie wants to learn how to fight. Maybe he shoulda just asked his Ma.  
xxx

Feeling eyes burn into his back for the umpteenth time that night Jayne growled and threw down his fork. "What?"

Hobie ducked his head down. "Nuthin'."

"You been followin' me round all gorram day and staring holes in my back."

Hobie fidgeted awkwardly. "Um, I was just wonderin'…."

Jayne huffed. "What, boy?"

"Iffin you and Mal would teach me how ta fight?"

xxxxx

Hobie groaned as he hit the well-padded ground. He hauled himself to his feet. "Ow."

Mal smirked at him. "Come on, boy. You said you wanted to learn how to fight."

"How to fight, not how to git hit."

"Two sides of the same coin, Junior. Gotta learn how to block and how to take a punch fore you learn to hit. Punching won't do ya no good if ya can't take a love tap like that."

"Weren't no love tap," Hobie grumbled.

Jayne chuckled meanly. "Gotta put some force behind it, boy. Gotta be even enough to hurt a man, make him think twice."

Hobie shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to know how to fight, yeah. But hurt someone?

"I just wanna learn to defend myself is all. I don't wanna hurt no one."

"It's all about the hurtin', kid. That's where the fun is."

"Look," Mal said, "when we done trained you up you can choose if you wanna hurt someone or not. Till then, hit Jayne."

"How?"

Mal sighed. "However you want."

"Kaylee told me to just close my eyes and swing."

"That's one way. Don't know if it'll work or not."

Jayne smirked.

Hobie closed his eyes. He swung his fist out in a wide arc. Amazingly, his fist slammed into Jayne's head. Jayne's eyes opened wide with shock before they glazed over. Jayne fell to the ground.

Hobie stared down at Jayne in shock. "I got 'im! I got 'im!"

Mal grinned. "Sure did. I was you, I'd start runnin' now."

xxxxx

Jayne held a hand to his head. "Gorram kid hit me. He don't play fair."

Mal snorted. "He had his eyes closed."

Jayne spat, wincing as two small white objects flew out of his mouth. "So? Still knocked out two o' my teeth."

Mal badly restrained his laughter. "Imagine what would have happened if he was watching the target."

Simon peered over the railing into the padded cargo bay. "Everything okay here?"

"Jayne done lost two of his teeth."

"Gorram kid knocked 'em out," Jayne complained.

"Just put the weave on, Doc. He'll be fine."

"My teeth," Jayne whined.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Easily fixed."

"Gorram better be."

xxxxx

"See, you'll encounter all types when you get into a fight. Get into a bar room brawl and you'll more than likely face an oaf like Jayne here." Mal smirked at Jayne as they cautiously rounded each other.

Jayne had refused to fight with Hobie till he was trained, so Mal and Jayne had decided to demonstrate the correct way to fight.

"Who you callin' an oaf, Mal?"

Hobie smirked. "He's callin' you an oaf, Jayne."

"That right?"

"So to speak."

Jayne tightened his fists. "Let's see you beat an oaf then, shall we?"

"You mean beat as in up? Cause I can do that." Mal lunged to the side, smirking when Jayne countered. "So, Jayne, had any teeth knocked out lately?"

"Shut up, Mal," Jayne growled.

"So, I gather no kids hit ya with their eyes closed then. Ain't it funny how the kid hits better eyes shut than you do eyes open?"

Jayne growled again. "It was a ruttin'-"

"Lucky punch. I know. You want a straw for your food?"

xxxxx

The fights had continued. Everyday they spent at least half an hour showing Hobie how to fight, letting him practice against a punching bag. Then Jayne and Mal would spend an hour sparring.

Thus went Hobie's afternoons. And this one was progressing as per normal. But it all became a mite concernin' when Jayne wrapped his hands around Mal's throat and squeezed. Luckily, Inara saw it all.

Inara run over the fire extinguisher and filled a bucket with water. She balanced the bucket on the top of the railing and threw the bucket o' water over 'em. Didn't stop 'em none but it slowed Jayne down enough for Mal to knee him in the nethers.

Jayne released a strangled scream. "You don't go for the nethers! No fair man goes for the nethers!"

"You ain't supposed t'go for the throat neither!" Mal screamed back.

"So I learned what not to do?" Hobie muttered to himself.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet."

Mal grabbed Jayne, throwing him to the floor. Inara threw up her arms into the air and turned to go fetch Zoë. She stopped as Kaylee near ran into her.

Kaylee slowed to a stop as she walked out onto one of the ramps that ran over the cargo bay. "Hey, Mal and Jayne are wrestlin'. And they're wet. If we can get 'em to take their shirts off I know a place that'd be real interested in pictures."

Inara laughed. "You're welcome to try, mei mei. I, personally, am not going anywhere near them."

Simon walked onto the catwalk above the cargo bay, turning on his heel and headin' back to the infirmary the minute he saw Mal and Jayne fighting.

"I'll go get the weaves."

xxxxx

Zoë sauntered up to Mal, her hands held formally behind her back. She eyed the blood staining his ripped shirt. "Did you win, Sir?"

Mal cautiously touched his face and winced. "Didn't lose."

Zoë raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the brightly lit infirmary. "So you don't need the infirmary then?"

"Waitin' for the Doc to finish up with Jayne," Mal admitted.

"This ain't gonna happen every time you try and to teach Hoban how to defend himself is it?"

Mal tried to look affronted. "Course not."

"Uh huh."

xxxxx

Hobie slouched into the kitchen his shoulders slumped.

Zoë looked up from her card game. "How was self defense, sweetie?"

Hobie shrugged, his lower lip slightly protruding. "It wasn't really self-defense. It was more watchin' Mal and Jayne fight until Jayne threw a haymaker and tripped. He knocked himself out on the railing in the cargo bay."

Zoë's lips quirked. "Again?"

Hobie helped himself to a bottle of water. "Yep."

Zoë chuckled. "Man's gonna have a permanent dent in his head if he keeps doing that."

xxxxx

"Gorram railin' hurts more'n you," Jayne taunted.

"Sure it does. You can't keep you're ruttin' feet long enough for me to hit you proper," Mal shot back.

The two men rounded each other, their hands held up in guard position. Jayne lunged forward, bruised ego fueling him. Mal jumped to the side, leaving his foot out to trip the larger man. Jayne threw out a hand as he fell and grabbed Mal's shirt, pulling him down with him.

Hobie sighed as he watched Mal and Jayne rolled around on the floor, kicking and biting each other. This was 'musing at first. Now it was just... well it was still funny as all hell but it weren't teaching him none.

He hopped off a crate. Maybe his mom would teach him

xxxxx

"Perhaps Zoë should just teach Hobie, she is the best hand-to-hand fighter here," Inara suggested.

"No! I said I'd teach that boy to fight and teach him I will!" Mal exclaimed.

"Don't want to fight Zoë?" Kaylee asked slyly.

"Not on your life!"

"You more scared o' Zoë than Jayne, Cap'n?"

Mal grimaced. "Zoë likes pain, lil' Kaylee. She likes it the way Jayne likes violence. She also likes to win. Ain't no way I'm gonna put this pretty face to work gettin' beat on by her. She's the best first mate I could ask for, but I ain't never gonna be drunk enough to be her sparrin' partner."

Mal opened up the highest cupboard, the one they used to store the alcohol now that Hobie had his growth spurt. "Where's the malt ale?"

Hobie raced into the dinning room. A large grin lit up his face. "Come quick! You all gotta see this? Jayne downed a whole bottle o' malt ale without takin' a breath and now he wants to fight my Ma!"

"She accepted the challenge?" Kaylee asked incredulously.

Hobie shrugged. "Yeah. Said she needed the workout."

Mal sighed. "Go to the Doc, tell him to fashion up a body bag nice enough to send to Jayne's Momma."

xxxxx

Jayne clutched a bag of ice to his head and groaned. "Ain't never drinkin' again."

Hobie rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Does your head hurt?"

Jayne groaned again.

"You should go see Simon."

"Doc ain't gonna do anything bout a hangover. Boy thinks it's funny to see a man sufferin'. Bad trait fer a doctor if you're askin' me."

"Weren't talkin' bout the hangover." Hobie grinned. "I meant bout the gash Ma put in that thick skull o' yours when she knocked ya out."

Jayne frowned. "What in the gorram are you babblin' bout, boy?"

"It's no one's fault but your'n, you know," Hobie continued. "Ma warned you 'fore, but you wanted to fight her. Disappointed her too, she was hoping for a work out."

Jayne paled. "I fought Zoë?"

Hobie nodded, smirking at the large man. "And she whooped your butt good."

"I fought Zoë." The bag of ice fell from his numb hands. Suddenly Jayne sprung to his feet and started to run his hands over his self. Cautiously he moved a hand down to his nethers.

"You want some time alone?"

Jayne glared at Hobie, but sighed in relief when he realized he was complete. He scooped up the bag of ice.

"I ain't never ever drinkin' again!"

xxx

end


	4. Chapter 4 That First Time

**That First Time**

Spoilers- Previous minis  
Disclaimers- characters ain't mine.  
Note- probably not the first you were expecting.  
xxx

Hobie barely felt the gun fall from his hand. He was too busy staring in horror at the sight in front of him. He caused this.

He took a human life.

He killed a man.

Hobie hadn't killed anyone before.

He never had to.

He was protected.

His ma protected him.

Jayne.

Mal.

River.

Even Nara had protected him with her bow and her sword.

But they weren't here this time.

And he just killed someone.

Hobie flinched as a heavy hand fell on his shoulder.

"I know you ain't feelin' too great right now." Mal's drawl washed over Hobie. "But what you done was self defense. If you hadn't killed him, he sure woulda killed you."

Hobie was transfixed by the blood. "Is it always like this?"

Mal paused to consider his answer.

"It should never feel right, Hobie. It should never be fun. Killing is a chore, something we do because we have to, not because we want to." The answer came from his ma.

A sob caught in Hobie's throat. He turned, dislodging Mal's hand, and clung to his mother. He buried his face in her neck and sobbed freely.

Zoë ran her hands over his head and neck. "Shh, baby. It's gonna be all right. I promise, baby. Momma's here. I ain't gonna let anything else happen to you."

Mal looked away from Zoë's intense gaze. It was already too late.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone, Momma."

Zoë felt her heart break in two. Her poor baby, teetering on the edge of being a man and already he had blood on his hands.

This wasn't the life she wanted for him.

"Then don't, baby, don't."

xxx

end


End file.
